GillBilly Humor: Cosby for President

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.

HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) "Press 1 for English" is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports.
We will use the 'Wal-Mart's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There is no more life sentences. If convicted, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed; Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

God Bless America !!!!!!!!!!!

Bill Cosby!!!!!!!!

I am not against golf, since I cannot but suspect it keeps armies of the unworthy from discovering trout...
Paul O'Neil

GillBilly Humor: Welcome to Canada!

Are you packed yet?

Enjoy thy stream, O harmless fish;
And when an angler for his dish,
Through gluttony's vile sin,
Attempts, the wretch, to pull thee out,
God give thee strength, O gentle trout,
To pull the rascal in!
John Wolcot

GillBilly Chronicals: New GB Investment Stategy

GillBilly finally had the stomach to look at his 401K that has recently gone to hell in a hand basket. He’s done some research, found the following and has decided to change his investment strategy...

If you had purchased $1,000 of AIG stock one year ago, you would have $42 left. With Lehman, you would have $6.60 left. With Fannie or Freddie, you would have less than $5 left. But if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have had $214. Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. It's called the 401-Keg program.

People who fish for food, and sport be damned, are called pot-fishermen. The more expert ones are called crack pot-fishermen. All other fishermen are called crackpot fishermen. This is confusing.
Ed Zern

GillBilly Humor: 2 Story Outhouse

Yep!!! This pretty much says it all......No words necessary!

There will be days when the fishing is better than one's most optimistic forecast, others when it is far worse. Either is a gain over just staying home.

Roderick Haig-Brown

GillBilly Humor: 3 Kids Fishing

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing below pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland.'

Barack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there in my special Senator's airplane.'

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's shoes.'

Barack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!'

The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'

Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!'

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

GillBilly Chronicals: Soldier in Iraq Cultivates an American Soiled Grass Plot

This is a photo of an Army soldier in Iraq with his tiny 'plot' of grass in front of his tent. It's heartwarming! Here is a soldier stationed in Iraq, stationed in a big sand box. His wife sent him dirt (U.S. soil), fertilizer, and some grass seed so that he can have the sweet aroma, and feel the grass grow beneath his feet. Before the men of the squadron leave on a mission, they take turns walking through the grass and the American soil -- to bring them good luck. Sometimes we are in such a hurry that we don't stop and think about the little things that we take for granted. Notice in the photo he is even cutting the grass with a pair of a scissors.

Upon reading this, say a little prayer for our soldiers that give so unselfishly for us.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. Dave Barry

Another Exciting New Design Introduced in our GillBilly Store!

We keep outdoing ourselves here in GillBillyville as we continue to improve our store and introduce new staples of the “GB BRAND”. Here we have the new Rose design. We are having great fun discovering the innermost essence of this “who knew?” marketing contraption known as “internet marketing.” Though this design are not ready yet for public consumption, er, for you to buy as of yet… we know this new design will thrill both young and old in its unique appeal. Been there, done that, I know, and now we are showing the results of our many days toiling at sea feeling you in our implementation of the creativity we are sharing.
Soon we will be placing your photos on this site wearing our GB gear. Feel free to e-mail us your collection of fish photos caught while wearing and soiling our designer concepts. Your kids we are sure will love Rose, soon we will be sponsoring kids fishing adventures and supplying our shirts at a wholesale price for those events. If you have a youth outing in mind, please contact us and we will make it possible to supply your entire crew with a shirt as a memento of their day out catching fishes. We are available always at the e-mail address billy@gillbilly.com to discuss your needs in this regard, keeping the kids stoked fishing and always aware of the conservation and beauty of our Mother Ocean.

As we gear up we will be offering you more design configurations; tank tops, shorts, and other stuff all replete with the famous GillBilly logo shared here on this site. Click the title above to be instantly transported to our GillBilly store… and visit our CafePress store linked on the right hand margin of this blog to find more choices already made available in the spirit of the GillBilly creed! As our spokesman Pablito says, “Catch and release to keep the Ocean’s peace!”

All the romance of trout fishing exists in the mind of the angler and is in no way shared by the fish.

Harold F. Blaisdell

Another Exciting New Design Introduced in our GillBilly Store!

We keep outdoing ourselves here in GillBillyville as we continue to improve our store and introduce new staples of the “GB BRAND”. Here we have the new Mr. Earl design. We are having great fun discovering the innermost essence of this “who knew?” marketing contraption known as “internet marketing.” Though this design are not ready yet for public consumption, er, for you to buy as of yet… we know this new design will thrill both young and old in its unique appeal. Been there, done that, I know, and now we are showing the results of our many days toiling at sea feeling you in our implementation of the creativity we are sharing.
Soon we will be placing your photos on this site wearing our GB gear. Feel free to e-mail us your collection of fish photos caught while wearing and soiling our designer concepts. Your kids we are sure will love Mr. Earl, soon we will be sponsoring kids fishing adventures and supplying our shirts at a wholesale price for those events. If you have a youth outing in mind, please contact us and we will make it possible to supply your entire crew with a shirt as a memento of their day out catching fishes. We are available always at the e-mail address billy@gillbilly.com to discuss your needs in this regard, keeping the kids stoked fishing and always aware of the conservation and beauty of our Mother Ocean.

As we gear up we will be offering you more design configurations; tank tops, shorts, and other stuff all replete with the famous GillBilly logo shared here on this site. Click the title above to be instantly transported to our GillBilly store… and visit our CafePress store linked on the right hand margin of this blog to find more choices already made available in the spirit of the GillBilly creed! As our spokesman Pablito says, “Catch and release to keep the Ocean’s peace!”

If you've got short, stubby fingers and wear reading glasses, any relaxation you would normally derive from fly fishing is completely eliminated when you try to tie on a fly.
Jack Ohman

GillBilly Style Spiny Lobster with Tomato Basil Butter Delight

Ingredients

Nothing messes up a delicious lobster more than an overpowering recipe that covers up the mild flavors of the meat. It’s imperative that you cook and eat your lobsters at their freshest, not frozenest. Once they die, the meat degenerates and bacteria grows quickly.
Whack ‘em on the back of the head or place the live lobsters in boiling water to send them to lobster heaven. Save those spiny lobster legs and shells and make a lobster stock with cold water, celery, carrots and onion. Bring to a boil, simmer for 30 minutes, strain through a colander and simmer for 30 minutes more to concentrate flavors. You can also grind up the shells, heat with butter and strain through a sieve into ice water to make lobster butter. It’s good.

I don’t know how big your rock lobsters are, so I can’t tell you how many lobsters to use for the recipe. About 3/4 cup of cooked lobster meat equals 1 pound.

Tomato Basil Butter
makes approximately 1 1/2 cups

1/4 cup dry vermouth
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 1/2 sticks salted butter, cut into chunks
1/3 cup seeded and diced tomato
2 tablespoons fresh basil, chopped

Instructions

1. Boil lobsters for 3 - 5 minutes, depending on the size of the lobster. Remove from water and place on a firm surface.

2. While lobster is boiling, prepare the Tomato Basil Butter Sauce

Heat vermouth, lemon juice and garlic in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Reduce liquid to 2 tablespoons. Reduce heat to low and add butter, a chunk or two at a time, while whisking constantly. Keep heat low enough so that butter does not boil and separate. Keep whisking in butter until all is emulsified. Immediately remove pan from heat and stir in tomato and basil.

3. When lobsters are cool enough to handle, split lengthwise from head to tail and place on hot grill. Whether you remove the coral, liver, etc is your choice. While grilling, baste tail meat with Tomato Basil Butter. When meat is white or opaque, remove from grill and spoon additional Tomato Basil Butter over.

Even eminent chartered accountants are known, in their capacity as fishermen, blissfully to ignore differences between seven and ten inches, half a pound and two pounds, three fish and a dozen fish.
William Sherwood Fox

GillBilly Chronicals: Caught 1 1/2 Miles Offshore - A Deer!!!

"What is that? You pickin' me up Pete?"

"I dunno, no blip on the radar or on the fishfinder."

"Got a visual Pete, looks like a deer...?"

"Got her aboard Pete, get out the scales, this is a whopper, glad we had a camera!"

"How do we clean this catch?"

"Let's just give her a hug and release her onshore..."

This fatigued deer was saved after last years October fire storms off Point Loma near San Diego... needless to say this extremely rare catch was very relieved to be pulled aboard and delivered ashore...

Gone fishin', be back at dark-thirty!